— Author unknown —
Well, the Marine Corps has done it, the war is now over.
There'll be no more fighting, we're sitting in clover.
Since old Dugout Doug (in the company of God),
has landed at last on Japanese sod.
With his bible in one hand, swagger stick in the other,
with his wife and his children, his father and mother.
Yes, MacArthur has arrived on the scene. . .
on a road that was won by the United States Marines.
Yes, MacArthur arrived with his big ultimatum
and his five general's stars, though he doesn't rate 'em.
In his freshly pressed suits and his ninety buck hat,
and a corset to hide his abdominal fat.
In his custom-made shoes with a spit-polish gleaming,
his Hollywood profile for the cameras beaming.
He stepped from his plane, just as proud as could be,
and the first thing he saw was a Marine PFC.
Old Doug made a speech and he told the wide world
how he and his doggies our flag had unfurled
o'er the soil of Japan, and when he had done it
the Gyrene just grinned, he knew who'd won it.
The Emperor arrived and bowed down to the deck,
not to MacArthur, to the big Leatherneck.
While Douglas was settling his jealous throes,
the Marine went to shack up with Tokyo Rose.
The brass hats then left for the USS Missouri
to sign the surrender, they were all in a hurry.
They all signed the pact but it wasn't official,
the Marine PFC hadn't signed his initial.
The generals and admirals then started a search,
the whole delegation was left in a lurch.
They found him at last, in his salty white khaki,
on the Emperor's throne, drinking the old man's saké.
That's what really happened, out there they all know it,
though the newsreels and papers, most likely, won't show it.
In the future you'll read of it all in a US history and
the truth will show up through the present-day mystery.
And where is MacArthur? Well, we don't like to tell
but he's in a place that Marines all know well
for he's now down in Dago and trying to be
promoted from general to Marine PFC.
* * *