'Twas two weeks before Christmas and all through Iraq,
The people still worried that Saddam would be back.
The soldiers went out on their nightly patrol,
Capturing the bad guys was always their goal.
With raids seeming endless in the triangle Sunni,
We hoped that not all of Iraq was so looney.
We gathered the tribe of Saddam, in Tikrit,
And suddenly now they all started to snit.
They told of a farm where Hussein just might be,
More rapid than Baathists our soldiers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Delta, now Rangers, now Cavalry too!
On Green Hats, on Pilots, I need all of you!
Go to that farm and secure it right now,
Capture his ass — you guys know how!"
Off went our soldiers under cover of night,
So stealthy, so quiet with no trace of light.
While back at home we were eating our lunches,
Our boys on the ground were following hunches.
And then it was time for the raid to begin,
The first target came up — empty within.
Could it be our intel was wrong once again?
No! Somewhere nearby is the wolf in his den.
And then, in a twinkling, camouflage torn away,
In a hole in the ground did their quarry lay.
Dazed and confused, right at them he looked,
Did the stupid old fool know his goose was now cooked?
He was dressed all in rags from his toes to his head,
And his beard was as matted as 12-day-old bread.
How the mighty had fallen, could this be Hussein?
One look in his eyes was to know he's insane.
Our boys got their man — how proud we all are,
The relief in our country is felt near and far.
A bath he has had now — yet he'll never be clean,
Forever tainted with mass torture and his Fedaheen.
To our soldiers we give our undying respect,
You always give more than we ever expect.
We hope you can have now a night with some fun,
Your loved ones back home say: "Job damn well done!"
* * *
Author unknown (received via Gunny Jay Lindsey)